Making your guest list- aka who NOT to invite to your wedding
Who to invite to your wedding
I always knew I wanted to keep my wedding on the smaller side, especially since I fell in love with a venue that had a max capacity of 100 people.
I didn’t want to invite people out of obligation, and I felt pressure from some family members. Plus, my now-husband somehow got the idea that we were supposed to invite everyone who had ever invited us to their wedding (WHO TOLD HIM THIS?!). Plus my mom decided she wanted to invite her friends so she could celebrate with them.
No matter how many people you’re planning on inviting, I recommend inviting only those you truly want there—whether that’s 10 or 200.
So, if you need to keep a certain number, how do you decide who to invite or not invite? And how to do you hold that boundary?
Disclaimer:
There’s no right or wrong way to do a wedding, but as your resident hype-girl, I want to cheer you on to do what YOU want for your special day!
There are endless methods to help you decide who to invite/not invite to your wedding, but here are a few that helped me! Use these “rules” to guide your thought process and avoid “guest list guilt.”
The Rule:
Ask yourself: when has this person been in my life? The past, present, or future? This rule says you should only invite people who have been in two or all three of those time periods. If they’re a coworker now, but you have no intention of having them in your future 2-3 years from now, they don’t get an invite.
Other Helpful Methods:
- Have you had meaningful interactions with them in the last year? If not, they don’t get an invite.
- If they were in your past, but you don’t have much of a relationship now, no invite.
- If you were invited to their wedding would you be excited to go or would you attend out of obligation? If it’s the latter then nix the invite.
Let them down easy
So you’ve decided who to invite to your wedding. Some people didn’t make the cut. There’s bound to be at least one awkward conversation you have to have with someone you aren’t inviting. Maybe its a friend from your past, or a coworker. Sometimes they will even assume they are invited which is the worst. Here’s a script for you to have ready:
“I’m sorry you are not invited. Weddings are a logistical nightmare balancing everything out I’d love for you to attend but it wasn’t possible”
This is very clear but also kind. If you like the person and they are cool you can definitely follow with “do you want to be invited if I have an RSVP of no?”)
And what do you say when your mom wants to invite her friends that you’ve never even met? If you want to avoid conflict plus make her happy then smile and say:
“Mom you are so important and I want you to be able to celebrate with your friends! Our tables seat 10 so you can have one table for your invites.”
Look I know this is your day but If you’ve been having tension with your mom during planning this is the easiest way- and it gets her off your back. PS- when you’ve made her happy is the best time to ask for something or to break something to her that she might not like. Example- you chose the green invitations that she hated- tell her now. 😝
I hope this was helpful! If you want to check hire a photographer off the wedding to-do list contact me here!
